The right to refuse .. ( As per Philippine Law )
Guys, pls. pass on to your wife , girlfriends; and ladies, you may want to
forward to any female relatives who may need to know this important
information.
I was talking with a lawyer friend of mine. We were discussing the law and
women`s rights. She told me about this incident - a young girl was raped by
a man posing as a plain clothes officer; he asked her to come to the police
station when she and her male friend didn ' t have a driver`s license to
show. He sent the boy off to get his license and asked the girl to accompany
him to the police station. But instead, the officer took her to an isolated area where the
horrendous crime was committed.
Infact, the law clearly states that between 6 pm and 6am, a woman has the
right to REFUSE to go to the Police Station, even if an arrest warrant has
been issued against her. It is a procedural issue that a woman can be
arrested between 6pm and 6 am , ONLY if she is arrested by a woman officer
and taken to an ALL WOMEN police station. And if she is arrested by a male
officer, it has to be proven that a woman officer was on duty at the time of
arrest.
It is good for us to know our rights. To what extent it comes of use remains
to be seen in any situation. But as they say, knowledge is power. Just
thought I`d share this with you.
I did not know this and am sure lot of us will not know this- please be
informed.... . And pass on this info to whom all u know.......
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Guide to the Holidays
This is fascinating thing was just circulated in the office.
Special Attention to those who are Employed:
This might give you an idea on how to spend the Holidays!
Christmas Day December 25 (Thursday)
*Additional special (non-working day) December 26 (Friday)
*Additional special (non-working day) December 29 (Monday)
Rizal Day December 30 (Tuesday)
*Last Day of the Year (Special Holiday ) December 31 (Wednesday)
Here is why:
Note that December 24 is almost always made into a holiday (or at least a half-day working day) in most companies, December 25 is Christmas Day, December 26 is already proclaimed a special non-working day, December 27 and 28 are weekends, December 29 is again a special non-working day, December 30 is Rizal Day, December 31 is a special holiday, January 1 is New Year, January 2 is an “ipit na araw” so who’s going to work on this Friday, while January 3 and 4 are weekends — which means the Christmas season is going to be a 12-day holiday for most people!
No work, just play from December 24, 2008 until January 4, 2009.
Sayang jud ni, we can't enjoy it much because of the financial crisis, huhuhu! What will you do with your bonuses? Spend it!
So kamo Bai, asa man mo ani nga panahona?
Friday, October 31, 2008
The Top Ten Dumbest Thing You’ve Ever Heard Anyone Says
I was on avail waiting to take another call when this stuff is forwarded to me! It's so dumb! And I admit, I'm also committing these mistakes. My own version. Well, try to read down below:
An Eat Bulaga contestant was asked by Joey and Vic: “Ano sa Tagalog ang grasshopper?” Contestant: “Ahmm. . .Huling Hapunan?”
It was an ex-PBB housemate (1st batch) who said this: “Big Brother, ginagawa po nila ako laughing stuff…”
In Wowowee, the question was: “Kung ang ’sigaw’ ay ’shout’ sa Inggles, ano naman sa Tagalog ang ‘whisper’?” The contestant answered: “Napkin!”
While watchng the news yesterday about a kid killed by a bulldozer, our maid commented: “Kaya ayoko mag-alaga ng aso eh…”
My friend and I were walking up the stairs of our schools new bldg. She said out of nowhere: “Imagine mo kung di ginawa ‘tong bldg, umaakyat tayo sa hangin?”
My cousin at a DRIVE-THRU: “Miss, puwedeng take out?”
Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: “Please watch ‘The Life Story of Julie Vega’, opening na po on the twenty-twoth of November.”
In a burger joint I heard a man say: “Miss, isa ngang ‘amusing’ aloha at saka ‘kidney’ meal.” Server: “Dine in po ba or to go?” The man answered: “Ayoko ng sago!”
I was making cookies at home when I ran out of cookie sheets, so I called our maid and said: “Manang bili ka nga ng cookie sheet.” And she replied: “Ano po, solo o litro?” (coke is it)
My friend said: “Ang galing ‘no, yung Ash Wednesday last year , Miyerkules din pumatak!”
A non-Christian vendor selling a Last Supper painting: “Ma’am bili po kayo ng frame, maganda po ito, ‘Hesus and Company.”
While watching “Apollo 13″, after she heard the line: “Houston, we have a problem.” My ex-girlfriend asked: “Sino si Houston?”
My aunt was going to the US for the 1st time. She told us: “Nagpapabili ang tita niyo ng ‘autistic’ guitar. Saan ba nakakabili nun?”
We were marketing for an org event, when one of my orgmates wanted to clear the definition of the types of sponsors (Major, Minor, Patron, etc.) So she asked her grandma: “Lola, anong mas mataas sa Patron?” Her lola replied: “Patron? Eh di Shell!”
Also in a gameshow. Host: “Ano sa Tagalog ang ‘teeth’?” Contestant: “Utong!”
I once heard an emcee say: “Let’s give her a warm of applause!”
One classmate in highschool said, “Ang cute naman ng sintas mo, luminou!” I corrected him and said, “luminous!” Then he replied, “Oo nga pala, plural!”
Barker ng bus: Ah Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao!!!” Pasahero: “Boss, Cubao?”
Sa isang gameshow, tinanong ng host: “Anong ‘P’ ang Tagalog ng ’storey’ o ‘floor’ ng building?” Contestan: “PIP PLOR!”
An officemate of ours told us a story about driving alone in her car: “Alam niyo, pag nag-iisa ako, feeling ko…wala akong kasama…”
I had a customer on the line who had a password on his account. I asked for the password but he forgot. I gave him a clue: “It’s a 4-digit number.” He answered, “Uhm…’ROCKY’?”
I overheard a lady place an order at Starbucks: “One cup of chino please.”
An officemate once asked: “Saan sa Quezon City ang Mandaluyong?”
I had a meeting with a friend and I noticed that both of us were wearing stripes. He suddenly blurted out: “Uy, stripes din! It’s the color of the day!”
My sister said of our neighbor who was our arch enemy: “Mamatay na sana kapitbahay natin!” I told her not to say that, coz it might bounce back to us. Then she said, “Ah ganun ba yun? In that case, mamatay na sana tayo!”
When I saw that I got a missed call, I said, “Hey, I got a missed call!” My friend said, “Anong sabi?”
From the gameshow “The Weakest Link”. Host Edu Manzano asked: “Anong ‘T’ ang ibinibigay ng konduktor pag nagbayad ka ng pamasahe sa bus?” Ian Veneracion answered: “TUKLI!”
We were reviewing for an exam and we were already dead tired. A classmate said, “Hala, brownout!” Pagtingin namin, nakapikit pala siya.
A call center agent told a foreign customer regarding the changing of the due date of her credit card: “Ma’am, I already changed your monthly period.”
A home economics teacher asked us: “How do you make wet floor and tow duff?” Translation: “How do you make wheat flour and tough dough”.
During a shower party for my friend, the married women were giving tips on the do’s & dont’s of sexual intercourse, when the bride asked: “Hindi ba kasama yung betlog sa pinapasok?”
Melanie Marquez: “Ang tatay ko lang ang only living legend na buhay pa.”
An Eat Bulaga contestant was asked by Joey and Vic: “Ano sa Tagalog ang grasshopper?” Contestant: “Ahmm. . .Huling Hapunan?”
It was an ex-PBB housemate (1st batch) who said this: “Big Brother, ginagawa po nila ako laughing stuff…”
In Wowowee, the question was: “Kung ang ’sigaw’ ay ’shout’ sa Inggles, ano naman sa Tagalog ang ‘whisper’?” The contestant answered: “Napkin!”
While watchng the news yesterday about a kid killed by a bulldozer, our maid commented: “Kaya ayoko mag-alaga ng aso eh…”
My friend and I were walking up the stairs of our schools new bldg. She said out of nowhere: “Imagine mo kung di ginawa ‘tong bldg, umaakyat tayo sa hangin?”
My cousin at a DRIVE-THRU: “Miss, puwedeng take out?”
Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: “Please watch ‘The Life Story of Julie Vega’, opening na po on the twenty-twoth of November.”
In a burger joint I heard a man say: “Miss, isa ngang ‘amusing’ aloha at saka ‘kidney’ meal.” Server: “Dine in po ba or to go?” The man answered: “Ayoko ng sago!”
I was making cookies at home when I ran out of cookie sheets, so I called our maid and said: “Manang bili ka nga ng cookie sheet.” And she replied: “Ano po, solo o litro?” (coke is it)
My friend said: “Ang galing ‘no, yung Ash Wednesday last year , Miyerkules din pumatak!”
A non-Christian vendor selling a Last Supper painting: “Ma’am bili po kayo ng frame, maganda po ito, ‘Hesus and Company.”
While watching “Apollo 13″, after she heard the line: “Houston, we have a problem.” My ex-girlfriend asked: “Sino si Houston?”
My aunt was going to the US for the 1st time. She told us: “Nagpapabili ang tita niyo ng ‘autistic’ guitar. Saan ba nakakabili nun?”
We were marketing for an org event, when one of my orgmates wanted to clear the definition of the types of sponsors (Major, Minor, Patron, etc.) So she asked her grandma: “Lola, anong mas mataas sa Patron?” Her lola replied: “Patron? Eh di Shell!”
Also in a gameshow. Host: “Ano sa Tagalog ang ‘teeth’?” Contestant: “Utong!”
I once heard an emcee say: “Let’s give her a warm of applause!”
One classmate in highschool said, “Ang cute naman ng sintas mo, luminou!” I corrected him and said, “luminous!” Then he replied, “Oo nga pala, plural!”
Barker ng bus: Ah Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao!!!” Pasahero: “Boss, Cubao?”
Sa isang gameshow, tinanong ng host: “Anong ‘P’ ang Tagalog ng ’storey’ o ‘floor’ ng building?” Contestan: “PIP PLOR!”
An officemate of ours told us a story about driving alone in her car: “Alam niyo, pag nag-iisa ako, feeling ko…wala akong kasama…”
I had a customer on the line who had a password on his account. I asked for the password but he forgot. I gave him a clue: “It’s a 4-digit number.” He answered, “Uhm…’ROCKY’?”
I overheard a lady place an order at Starbucks: “One cup of chino please.”
An officemate once asked: “Saan sa Quezon City ang Mandaluyong?”
I had a meeting with a friend and I noticed that both of us were wearing stripes. He suddenly blurted out: “Uy, stripes din! It’s the color of the day!”
My sister said of our neighbor who was our arch enemy: “Mamatay na sana kapitbahay natin!” I told her not to say that, coz it might bounce back to us. Then she said, “Ah ganun ba yun? In that case, mamatay na sana tayo!”
When I saw that I got a missed call, I said, “Hey, I got a missed call!” My friend said, “Anong sabi?”
From the gameshow “The Weakest Link”. Host Edu Manzano asked: “Anong ‘T’ ang ibinibigay ng konduktor pag nagbayad ka ng pamasahe sa bus?” Ian Veneracion answered: “TUKLI!”
We were reviewing for an exam and we were already dead tired. A classmate said, “Hala, brownout!” Pagtingin namin, nakapikit pala siya.
A call center agent told a foreign customer regarding the changing of the due date of her credit card: “Ma’am, I already changed your monthly period.”
A home economics teacher asked us: “How do you make wet floor and tow duff?” Translation: “How do you make wheat flour and tough dough”.
During a shower party for my friend, the married women were giving tips on the do’s & dont’s of sexual intercourse, when the bride asked: “Hindi ba kasama yung betlog sa pinapasok?”
Melanie Marquez: “Ang tatay ko lang ang only living legend na buhay pa.”
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Magpageant ta!
If mahilig jud mo sa pageant ug uban pang beauty contest, hala! Go, enjoy reading this entry! Kaloka!!!!
Host : Saan ang dream vacation mo?
Girl Contestant : Amangpulo.
+++
Host : What was the very first gift that you gave to your girlfriend?
Male Contestant : Uhmm...taptoy.
Host : What taptoy?
Male Contestant : Taptoy na teddy bird.
+++
Host : What's your ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Uhm, uhm, I am not sure....
Host : Hindi, kunwari ikaw, more or less.
Girl : Uhmm... more. (Crowd booing... ) Sige, Sige. Less, less....
+++
Host : If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines?
Girl Contestant : Bocaue.
Host : Bocaue. Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the Philippines? Why Bocaue?
Girl : Because it's a magnificent place.
Host : Which part of Bocaue?
Girl : The Bocaue Rice Terraces. (Banawe Kaya Yon!!)
+++
The contestant, presenting herself, talks into the mic and says, "Hi! I'm Cristine Reyes from Bagiuo...," and then she turns around, walks a little, goes back then yells at the top of her lungs! Then shouts, "CITYYYYYYYY!!!!"
+++
(From Little Miss Philippines)
Host : Anong gusto mo pag-laki mo?
Girl : Maging lalaki po!
+++
Host : Who's your favorite author?
Contestant : Danielle Steele
Host : Why Danielle Steele?
Contestant : Because, because...Danielle Steele, I like best.
+++
Host : How would you like me to address you?
Contestant : My address is Project 8, Quezon City.
+++
Host : What is your best feature?
Contestant : My graduation feature.
+++
Host : So tell us, why did join this contest?
Contestant : Me, join this contest, why did I. Thank you!
+++
Host : What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant : I want to be a successful Medicine.
+++
Host : Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong boobtube. Ano ito?
Contestant : BRA!
+++
Host : What is you favorite motto?
Contestant : If others can't why, why can't I!
+++
Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant : Please come back.
+++
(From gay beauty contest)
Host : What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?
Gay contestant : (Stops, thinks and then smiles.) EGGPLANT PO!
+++
Host : What is your typical day?
Contestant : I think Saturday po!
+++
(From gay contest)
Host : Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant : I think and believe na bilang isang bading......ano nga po ulit yung question?
+++
Host : Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant : (Believe it or not she answered) Si Melanie Marquez po!
+++
Host : What is your favorite motto?
Contestant : (After a long pause) I don't have a motto eh. (So the crowd starts helping her out. The crowd starts saying "Time is gold! Time is gold!")
Contestant : I have na po. Chinese gold!
+++
Host : If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?"
Contestant : That's a very good question. Keep it up. (Then the girl turns and walks away.)
+++
Host : So, you're vegetarian, what is your favorite vegetable?
Contestant : I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and what's that? KALABASH?
+++
Host : What is your motto?
Contestant : Actor! (Everyone starts laughing.) Aay, actress pala.
+++
Host : Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl : JOSE RIZAL! (Crowd starts laughing.)
Host : Who is your favorite hero then?
Girl : Hulk Hogan.
+++
Host : If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant : Uhmm... a bumble bee!
+++
Host : What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant : My edge.... 23 years old.
+++
Host : What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Between 24 and 25!
+++
Host : How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl : I'll be 28.
+++
Host : Describe your love one in three words.
Girl : Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.
Host : OK, sige!
Girl : In one word, MY LIFE!
+++
Host : If you were given any special power, what would it be?
Girl : Power of Attorney!
+++
Host : So you like reading, who's your favorite author?
Girl : Uhmm, Shakespeare.
Host : What works of Shakespeare?
Girl : Hindi ko po alam eh.
Host : But he's your favorite.
Girl : Eh kasi patay na sya eh.
+++
Host : What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal eh!
+++
Host : What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant : I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!
+++
Host : What makes you blush?
Girl : Blush on!
+++
Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here? Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk?
Mga quotes ni BOB ONG
Guys, something to ponder! hehehehe...
1. "Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pagtinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon."
2. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."
3. "Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o kamukha nya si Mike Scofield o kahawig nya si Nick Carter or magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."
4. "Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka."
5. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"
6. "Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa'yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili."
6. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawakan ng iba."
7. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."
8. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."
9. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."
10. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."
11. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."
12. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka. Kaya quits lang."
13. "Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?
14. "nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures."
15. "ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko "
16. "hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?"
17. "hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan. "
18. "Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan."
19. "Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!)."
1. "Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pagtinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon."
2. "Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."
3. "Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o kamukha nya si Mike Scofield o kahawig nya si Nick Carter or magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."
4. "Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka."
5. "Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"
6. "Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa'yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili."
6. "Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawakan ng iba."
7. "Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."
8. "Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."
9. "Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."
10. "Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."
11. "Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."
12. "Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka. Kaya quits lang."
13. "Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag natuto silang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?
14. "nalaman kong hindi final exam ang passing rate ng buhay. hindi ito multiple choice, identification, true or false, enumeration or fill-in-the-blanks na sinasagutan kundi essay na isinusulat araw-araw. Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga isinulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures."
15. "ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko "
16. "hinahanap mo nga ba ako o ang kawalan ko?"
17. "hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan. "
18. "Kumain ka na ng siopao na may palamang pusa o maglakad sa bubog nang nakayapak, pero wag na wag kang susubok mag-drugs. Kung hindi mo kayang umiwas, humingi ka ng tulong sa mga magulang mo dahil alam nila kung saan ang mga murang supplier at hindi ka nila iisahan."
19. "Mag-aral maigi. Kung titigil ka sa pag-aaral, manghihinayang ka pagtanda mo dahil hindi mo naranasan ang kakaibang ligayang dulot ng mga araw na walang pasok o suspendido ang klase o absent ang teacher. (Haaay, sarap!)."
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Filipino Millionaire Parks His Ferrari in NY
I read it twice. Pinoy kasi ang bida!
A Filipino walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the
Loan officer. He tells the loan office! R that he is going to the Philippines on
Business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer
Tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so
The Filipino hands over the keys of a new Ferrari.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The
Filipino produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer
Agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's
President and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Pinoy for using
A $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of
The bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and
Parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Pinoy returns, repays the $5,000 and the
Interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are
Very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked
Out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we
Checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles
Us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'
The Pinoy replies: 'Where else in New York City can I park my
Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I
Return.'
Makunat but smart LOL
***
A Filipino walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the
Loan officer. He tells the loan office! R that he is going to the Philippines on
Business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer
Tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so
The Filipino hands over the keys of a new Ferrari.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The
Filipino produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer
Agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's
President and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Pinoy for using
A $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of
The bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and
Parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Pinoy returns, repays the $5,000 and the
Interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are
Very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked
Out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we
Checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles
Us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'
The Pinoy replies: 'Where else in New York City can I park my
Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I
Return.'
Makunat but smart LOL
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Pinoy Jokes
I was chuckling at my workstation when reading these! Glad to share it! Here:
CUSTOMER: Waitress! Ano ba 'tong binigay mo sa akin, kape o tsaa? Lasang gas 'to ah!
WAITRESS: Kung yan ay lasang gas, Kape yan! Ang tsaa kasi lasang pintura!
LANI MISALUCHA - Asia 's Nightingale.
REGINE VELASQUEZ - Asia 's Song Bird.
GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO - "Mole of Asia"
ERAP: Hello, I would like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco?
OPERATOR: Just a minute, Sir..
ERAP: Really? Thank you..
JUAN; Tay ! Penge P20 bibili ako ng de lata.
TATAY: Anak, mga taga bukid lang ang gumagamit ng term na de lata! Englisin mo yan!
JUAN: Paano?
TATAY: KANG GUD!
ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES :
1. Doctors go back to school to be nurses abroad.
2. Rats are normal house pets.
3. Soap opera is reality and news provide the dramas of life.
4. Actors make the rules and politicians provide the entertainment!
Homeless
INTERVIEWER: Ano ang plano nyo sa mga homeless?
ERAP: Marami, kaso may problema.
INTERVIEWER: Ano po yun?
ERAP: ang hirap nilang hanapin, kasi wala silang address.
A song
A song for our Honorable Politicians, Congressmen and Senators, Mayors and Governors:
(To the tune of Boom Tarat-Tarat)
"BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
KURAKOT, KURAKOT,
BOOM BOOM BOOM!"
Tatay to anak
TATAY:
Bagsak ka na nman! Ba't di mo gayahin si Pedro?
Palaging may honor.
ANAK:
Unfair naman kung ikumpara nyo ako kay Pedro.
TATAY:
Bakit naman?
ANAK:
Matalino tatay nun!
half - half
ENRIQUE ZOBEL: half Filipino half Spanish.
HENRY SY: half Filipino half Chinese.
JUAN FLAVIER: half Filipino half Igorot.
RAUL ROCO: half Hawaiian half Polo.
JOHN OSMENA: half Filipino half Filipina.
MIKE ARROYO: half Filipino half Pork.
GMA: half...
American to tagalog
AMERICAN ENGLISH:
Eat All You Can, don't be shy, feel at home!
IN TAGALOG:
kain lang kayo ng kain, walanghiya kayo, pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo to!
Medical Terminology
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN PATIENT'S MEDICAL CHARTS at PHILIPPINE GENERAL
HOSPITAL (PGH):
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
2. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
3. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began Seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. The patient refused autopsy.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. She is numb from her toes down.
10. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
11. The skin was moist and dry.
12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
13. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
14. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
15. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.
16. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
17. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a
stockbroker instead.
18. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
19. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Pedro & Berto
Pedro: Saan ka galing, p're?
Berto: Sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.
Pedro: Bakit puro kalmot ang mukha at braso mo?
Berto: Mahirap ilibing eh, lumalaban!
A priest at a church
Lady: Father, ang gwapo at cute mo naman! Bakit ka pa kasi nagpari?
Priest: Dahil ayaw pumayag ng magulang ko na magmadre ako! Bruha!
Pedro & Juan
Pedro: Alam mo, yung pusa namin, kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang
takip ang ulam namin, hindi kinakain!
Juan: Maniwala ako?!
Pedro: Totoo!
Juan: Ano ba ang ulam nyo?
Pedro: Asin!
Erap at Starbucks
Erap: Waiter, isang kape nga!
Waiter: Sir, decaf ho ba?
Erap: Syempre! Bobo! Lahat ng kape, de cup!
Bakit, may nakaplato ba?!
Pari: Ang mga boys, sunod sa karo ni San Jose, mga girls, sa karo ni Mama Mary.
Bakla: Kami father, saan kami susunod?
Pari: Mga bruha! Follow me!
CUSTOMER: Waitress! Ano ba 'tong binigay mo sa akin, kape o tsaa? Lasang gas 'to ah!
WAITRESS: Kung yan ay lasang gas, Kape yan! Ang tsaa kasi lasang pintura!
***
PILITA CORRALES - Asia 's Queen of Song.LANI MISALUCHA - Asia 's Nightingale.
REGINE VELASQUEZ - Asia 's Song Bird.
GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO - "Mole of Asia"
***
ERAP: Hello, I would like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco?
OPERATOR: Just a minute, Sir..
ERAP: Really? Thank you..
JUAN; Tay ! Penge P20 bibili ako ng de lata.
TATAY: Anak, mga taga bukid lang ang gumagamit ng term na de lata! Englisin mo yan!
JUAN: Paano?
TATAY: KANG GUD!
***
ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES :
1. Doctors go back to school to be nurses abroad.
2. Rats are normal house pets.
3. Soap opera is reality and news provide the dramas of life.
4. Actors make the rules and politicians provide the entertainment!
***
Homeless
INTERVIEWER: Ano ang plano nyo sa mga homeless?
ERAP: Marami, kaso may problema.
INTERVIEWER: Ano po yun?
ERAP: ang hirap nilang hanapin, kasi wala silang address.
***
A song
A song for our Honorable Politicians, Congressmen and Senators, Mayors and Governors:
(To the tune of Boom Tarat-Tarat)
"BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
KURAKOT, KURAKOT,
BOOM BOOM BOOM!"
***
Tatay to anak
TATAY:
Bagsak ka na nman! Ba't di mo gayahin si Pedro?
Palaging may honor.
ANAK:
Unfair naman kung ikumpara nyo ako kay Pedro.
TATAY:
Bakit naman?
ANAK:
Matalino tatay nun!
***
half - half
ENRIQUE ZOBEL: half Filipino half Spanish.
HENRY SY: half Filipino half Chinese.
JUAN FLAVIER: half Filipino half Igorot.
RAUL ROCO: half Hawaiian half Polo.
JOHN OSMENA: half Filipino half Filipina.
MIKE ARROYO: half Filipino half Pork.
GMA: half...
***
American to tagalog
AMERICAN ENGLISH:
Eat All You Can, don't be shy, feel at home!
IN TAGALOG:
kain lang kayo ng kain, walanghiya kayo, pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo to!
***
Medical Terminology
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN PATIENT'S MEDICAL CHARTS at PHILIPPINE GENERAL
HOSPITAL (PGH):
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
2. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
3. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began Seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. The patient refused autopsy.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. She is numb from her toes down.
10. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
11. The skin was moist and dry.
12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
13. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
14. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
15. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.
16. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
17. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a
stockbroker instead.
18. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
19. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
***
Pedro & Berto
Pedro: Saan ka galing, p're?
Berto: Sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.
Pedro: Bakit puro kalmot ang mukha at braso mo?
Berto: Mahirap ilibing eh, lumalaban!
***
A priest at a church
Lady: Father, ang gwapo at cute mo naman! Bakit ka pa kasi nagpari?
Priest: Dahil ayaw pumayag ng magulang ko na magmadre ako! Bruha!
***
Pedro & Juan
Pedro: Alam mo, yung pusa namin, kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang
takip ang ulam namin, hindi kinakain!
Juan: Maniwala ako?!
Pedro: Totoo!
Juan: Ano ba ang ulam nyo?
Pedro: Asin!
***
Erap at Starbucks
Erap: Waiter, isang kape nga!
Waiter: Sir, decaf ho ba?
Erap: Syempre! Bobo! Lahat ng kape, de cup!
Bakit, may nakaplato ba?!
***
Sa prusisyonPari: Ang mga boys, sunod sa karo ni San Jose, mga girls, sa karo ni Mama Mary.
Bakla: Kami father, saan kami susunod?
Pari: Mga bruha! Follow me!
Laugh Out Loud Folks!
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